So sometimes life catches you by surprise.
Today on the way to school my sweet, adorable little four year old said, "Mommy, I'm getting too big to snuggle you." And of course, this super attached mom started telling him that he wasn't, etc. He continued to say how he was getting too old and too big and so on and so on. Imagine my reaction. When his bus came, he got right on without a backwards glance, a kiss, a hug....nothing. This bothered me all day at school....to the point of tears at some points. Until he got off the bus and was walking across the commons....when he saw me, his little face lit up and he ran to me and I got the biggest hug ever. Everything is ok again in this mom's world. We had snuggle time tonight (along with his brother) and it was a good night...he even smiled at his soccer pictures! :)
My sister also called tonight to tell me about what her boyfriend had gotten her for her birthday and the plans they had for this weekend. She turns 20 on Wednesday and I'm finding it tough to believe...my baby sister, grown up, with a boyfriend and turning TWENTY! Where has time gone?
Then the realization hit me....I will be 30 at the end of this month. I thought about that a lot tonight and a couple of my friends who are already 30 say they don't feel too different. I don't imagine I will feel different but it's making me look back on what I've accomplished and I have to say....I'm pretty happy. I have a fantastic family, great friends, a nice house, everything I ever thought and hoped I would have when I was 30....
At the risk of sounding like a dork or self-pitying....there is only one thing I wish I had more of. The self-confidence I see in all of my friends. They are some of the most outstanding women I will ever know. They are confident in all they do....work, relationships, family....never seeming to doubt a thing they do. Amazing. I can only hope and pray that one day I make it there.
I feel like this is just a rambling post and that may very well be but I feel better. Whew! :) And what could make this better right now? My little man is sitting next to me on the couch because he wants to snuggle his mommy before bed....
1 comment:
Awww, since I didn't get to talk to you after school I didn't know that Chris came around on the snuggling thing yesterday!! OH yay!!
I loved your post about being happy and grateful for all your family, friends, etc. You are a great person and a great friend, Nicole. I know how you feel about self-confidence and feeling like you need more of it, I have the same feeling sometimes. For what it's worth, I think you are doing a great job as a mother, wife, friend. One of these days (God willing) I hope that I can be as good a mother and wife as you are! (as are ALL of our friends!!)
Just my two cents..... :-)
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